Let's try this again...

Amanda here – I have the blog in my hand and am not going to lose it….again! Also, I didn’t realize that I had his comments set to only people with accounts as being able to leave one. It has since been changed, so the public can comment away!! On another note…there’s a certain couple that we know, and all I have to say is one of them will love the end of this post, and one will be back to visit Josh very soon to set things straight! Enjoy!

Welcome back to another installment of my blog. I hope you all are doing well. I’m fine…thanks for asking. Not much is going on here (as usual) but the week is going by quickly (AJ - yes, I know this is 2 weeks old, but last week went by fast for him too, and I’m sure this one will be just the same ;o)) March is almost here (AJ – again, it’s now St. Patrick’s Day! Sorry!), as I write this, and I can’t believe I’m going on 8 months here. It seems like so much longer but at the same time like it has flown by. Does that make sense?

Before I begin this week’s topics, I realized that I forgot a topic from last entry…”things you don’t discuss (religion & politics)”. First, for those that don’t know, I and my wife are members of the church of Christ. Here at camp I am viewed as an outsider b/c of my beliefs. The federal system caters to all religions; Jewish, Muslim, Catholic, House of Yahweh, Rastafarian, Jehovah’s Witness and Christian. I don’t fit into the category of what the BOP calls Christian. The Christian services here are geared more towards Baptist, Methodist, “Contemporary”, etc. Not church of Christ. I tried talking to people about the church of Christ but once finding out what I believe, no “Christian” would discuss church with me. Craziness! So I’m not asked into any religious discussions. Also, the religions do not intermix. Meaning, you don’t discuss your beliefs with someone of a different group. Politics fall into the same realm. Take a guess what party everyone here supports. Democrats. And if you know me then you know I’m the farthest thing from a democrat. Again, I’m an outsider. Both religion and politics have caused some serious blow-up arguments around here.

Now on to this weeks topics:
My buddy Jeff Anderson is a very strange character. A good guy, very smart, with a taste for strange books. He and I do not agree on most topics other than the stupid people here and good books. But Jeff does say some very strange things. He says the earth is billions of years old (he’s not a Christian). That Care Bears scare him. He wants to be a “Scary Clown” (read Bad Monkeys by Matt Ruff and you’ll understand) and what I think is the strangest thing he’s said: “May the custodial gods implanted by Alien overlords to manipulate human history not screw with us too terribly bad.” That’s a verbatim quote. He wrote it down for me. Like I said, he says some strange things, but he’s a good guy.

While here the BOP is required to give us 3 meals a day. What isn’t required is the meals be good. Each week we have a menu that is put out (like in high school) and the meals sound good, they just don’t taste good. The best things we have are hamburgers (every Wednesday is hamburger day) and whenever we have baked chicken. That’s it. Possibility of two decent meals a week. The rest of the meals aren’t terrible…you just have to acquire the taste to eat it (AJ – It is a amazing the different foods I have tried to get him just to taste over the last few years, and he’s always said, ewe to them, and now he loves them..i.e. Carrot Cake, Sweet Potatoes, SWEET POTATO PIE!, and I know there are a couple of others, just can’t think of them right now). Basically you learn to eat the stuff or starve. Well you won’t starve b/c we do have a commissary (store) where you can buy food. This is how we cook if we don’t want to eat at Mainline (AJ – by cooking, he means microwave). We can get tuna, chicken, ham, roast beef (all in soft packs), chips, onions, bell peppers, tortilla wraps, seasonings, peanut butter, rice, crackers, and more. It’s crazy but we (inmates) can cook better with plastic bowls, less ingredients, and a microwave and our food is better than what they produce from a commercial grade kitchen. I have learned some awesome dishes that I hope to share with some of you one day.

Fried Rice (wow!)
Nachos (if you are with me during football season, expect them)
Breakfast Wraps (awesome!)
Burritos and Pizza

Man, I’m hungry now.

Quick update on the job change. There is not job change. Seems I don’t have enough time left to warrant them letting me go to another job. So, I’m stuck cleaning the bathrooms on the weekend. Whatever.

Now visits are the best and worst thing we have. Visits are Friday 5-9 pm, Saturday and Sunday, 8-3:30. Amanda has been here every weekend. I don’t know what I would do without the weekends (AJ – Me either baby!). Visits give me something to look forward to and the change to connect with normal people. Amanda and I have been able to build our relationship through our conversations at visit; My dad and I have become better friends; Plus, I get out of the monotony of the camp. The bad part about visits is also the good; I get to see friends and family. It’s great and wonderful to see people, but gut wrenching when they have to leave (AJ – Especially this past Saturday for some reason?!). Amanda always asks me if I’m ready for her to go. The answer is always “No!” But at the same time, I don’t want her to wait until the last minute b/c it makes it so much harder for me and for her (I’m sure).

So, I’m a big guy. When I got here in July 2007, I was bigger than I am now. One thing about prison, there’s plenty of time to work out. First, the food isn’t great and they give very small portions (I mean Ethiopian small portions). Second, you can pass a lot of time on the track. When I got here I could barely run 1 lap, but I pushed myself, cut out sweets (except for cookies in the visiting room. I gotta have something) and most bread. When the weather was warm I was walking and running a total of 4-5 miles a day, 5-6 days a week. As it got colder, the running slacked off but I still walk. As of January, I had lost 60 lbs. I haven’t weighed recently b/c at the first of the year I stared lifting weights. I can tell I haven’t lost that much weight (fat), but I have lost several inches (gained muscle) (AJ – Josh got up a couple of times while I was there Friday and Saturday, and as I watched him walk by, from the side he looks like a totally different person – It’s unbelievable! I wish I was as disciplined as he is). I’m very excited and actually enjoy working out. My goal is to lose another 50-60 lbs before I leave and I feel with hard work, support from my workout buddy Skeeter, and knowing I’m getting healthier, I think I can do it! Keep your fingers crossed!

Another pass time in prison is playing cards. I learned how I played certain games on the street are totally different here. Prison cards suck! (AJ – every time we start to play spades, I ask if we’re playing spades or prison spades.) As you all know (or should know) I’m a great spades player with real world rules. Teale was always my spades partner in high school and we’ve played some pretty amazing games and usual win, but since then I’ve found an even better spades partner…Chad (Teale’s husband if you don’t know). The man is crazy good! He and I came back from near impossible odds to beat our wives. (Yes, we’re bad husband’s b/c we beat our wives in a card game, but don’t think that Amanda and Teale wouldn’t cut our throats to win) (AJ – I have no idea what he’s talking about, do you Teale??) Anyway, Chad is the only person I know that can go for 0 and get it with the queen and 3 other spades. Sorry, just have to brag on him. Amanda and I play two-person spades, we’re about even, Phase 10 (she kills me) and Rummy. I’ve taught her a two person game called “Casino” and a 2,3, or 4 person game called “13” (13 is like Kahuna, if you know that game). I’ve also learned “pluck” which is like 3 person spades but you choose the trump.

So, I guess that will just about do it for this time. I hope you have enjoyed this installment of “Camp life”. I’m not sure what I’ll be writing on next week, but I’m thinking about hitting on stuff outside of camp. Hope you like it. Let me know if there’s anything you would like me to comment on. Take care and God Bless!

Joshua W. Jones