Sunday, February 24, 2008

Well, it's another week...

gone by for me and just a little bit closer to going home. I hope everyone had a more eventful week than I did; put simply, nothing ever happens here. I’m writing this new entry to the blog before I find out if anyone enjoyed or even read the first entry. I hope you have read it and plan to continue reading and commenting. If you had any questions that you posted or are sending me, I will try to answer them on the next blog entry, Ok? Okay! Now, if I remember correctly I said I would be talking about phrases I’ve learned, things not to say, Skeeter, George Lucas & Harry Potter, and interesting books I recommend. So, let’s get down to the nitty gritty.

“Pop a clutch!” That is a phrase that is commonly used here at FPC when you want someone to go away; also, “Kick rocks!” Now I had heard the second phrase before I came here, but the first really stuck out when I heard someone say it. I’ve not been told to “pop a clutch”, yet…but I’m sure someone will tell me one day. You all know how I can be! Here’s a short list of some other phrases and words with their meanings:

Cellie: A person you share your cube (living space) with (AJ – I miss my “cellie!”)
Bunkie: Some people sleep on bunk beds. The other person in your bunk is your Bunkie.
Get money: To work out hard at the weight pile or on the track (AJ – I don’t get it?!)
Cop-out: A form to fill out when you have a question to Camp Administration.

Anyway, that is just a few of the phrases that get used on a daily basis here.

Now, there are several things that one should never say to someone else while in Federal prison. Some of them I can not put online b/c this is a family oriented blog, but I’ll try to convey a few as best I can. First, don’t call someone a punk. I didn’t get this one b/c I would call a friend a punk when joking around. But here “punk” means gay. And guys are very touchy about their sexuality. You can’t call someone a female dog or a son of a female dog. Also out are M-F, telling someone to “F” themselves (AJ – I don’t think you’re supposed to say these things to anyone, whether in prison or out, but I guess it would be more dangerous to say them there!) Basically, you don’t say anything derogatory to someone else. All of this was easy for me. No problem. I just don’t understand how punk gets turned into someone being gay?! Oh well.

I’m sure you are all wondering, “What is Skeeter?” Well, Skeeter is a nickname of an inmate here. Nicknames are pretty much required in prison; everyone has one in some shape or form. My buddy Skeeter, whose name is actually James Stephen Alexander II, is one of the only intelligent people here that I can talk with, plus he’s a huge Star Wars fan. So much of a fan that when I get a book or Amanda sends a Star Wars magazine, she tells me to share it with Skeeter (AJ – I am so happy that Josh has someone there to talk to…I’ve met Skeeter and he seems extremely nice!) He’s a good guy that just was in the wrong situation. He’s helped me with getting into the right workout routine and we always have something to discuss pertaining to the Star Wars universe. Skeeter asked me to inform he ladies that he is single (AJ – when I first read this, I was thinking, will someone really think about dating someone in prison, or that’s been in prison, then I realized, I’m married to a felon! I guess in some way that still hasn’t clicked with me!) I don’t know what good that will do considering most (if not all) of the women reading this are married, but I couldn’t crush his dreams.

So, nicknames…we all have them and here are a few examples:

Big Shot, Birmingham, Skid Row, J-Rub, Flat Rock, Mug, KoKomo, Emmy,
Preacher (we have 6 guys called that here), Bones, Bear, Gotti, C-Murder, “C”, Ant, Elmo, C-Dub, Bass, Dirty, Kiddie Bear

That’s some of the basic ones. Also, guys are called by their last names. I’m sure you’re wondering if I have a nickname. I do. Mostly, I’m called Josh or JJ, but some guys call me Foamy. I will explain this at another time. It’s dumb, but guys say it fits.

If you don’t know me, you’re probably asking how George Lucas, the Skywalker family, and Harry Potter have helped me since I’ve been here. Well I’m a huge Star Wars fan and so I thank George Lucas for his contribution to cinema. But the Skywalker family has really helped. For those that live under a rock or just don’t care…there is a whole line of Star Wars novels that follow the adventures of the Skywalker and Solo families after the move. I made a list of 46 books (that take place after the movies) that I wanted to read while here. Mrs. Jackie Ellison (a wonderful lady that worked with my mom @ SCBOE) offered to send me all the books over the year that I’m here (Thank you!) I’ve read around 25-27 of them so far. They have really helped to pass the time. And, Harry Potter. Yes, I’m a big kid, I know (AJ – We all know baby…that’s one of the reasons we love you!) For those of you that have not read the Harry Potter Books, you are missing out. I’ve read all the books at least twice and each time is like being a kid again. The books really let you imagination go and allow you to become connected with the characters; making the reading experience that much better. The 5th HP movie came out the Friday before I self-surrendered and I saw it 3 or 4 times. The following Friday (my first Friday @ camp) the 7th and final book came out. I faithfully wanted for my copy to arrive (and yes there are other HP fans here at camp). Reading the book was like forgetting about this place. I was totally immersed in what was happening in the book! You all are probably calling me a dorm, and that’s ok. These are books & movies that I enjoy and for a brief time let me feel like a kid again and forget all about my worries. Bet you wish you had something like that, huh?

So, like I said in my last blog…I’ve read just over 100 books since being here (AJ – I hope that if we are blessed with children someday, that they like to read as much as their daddy does – momma likes magazines…that’s about it!) Some good books, some great books, and some really bad books. The books I’m going to list are some I recommend to read, you might not enjoy all the ones that I did but you’re bound to read one that you like.

Star Wars Books – If you’re not a fan don’t bother, you wouldn’t get it.
Harry Potter Series – Everyone should read these.
“Born Standing Up” by Steve Martin – His autobiography. Really good.
“Fire & Ice Series” by George R.R. Martin – If you didn’t like Lord of the Rings, you won’t like this. 5 books. Only read 4 b/c Mr. Martin has not published the 5th book.
“Wicked” – Book the Broadway play was based on. Very social & political stuff. Weird to read Glinda the Good Witch cursing (Thanks Teale)
“Earagon” & “Eldest” by Chris Paolini – If you don’t like fantasy, don’t bother.
“Bad Monkeys”; “Sewer, Gas & Electric”; “Fool on the Hill”; “Set this House in Order” all by Matt Ruff – All are very strange books and tough reads, but they are brilliant.
“Fight Club” – Great guy book. Movie is just as good.
“Marley & Me” – Wonderful book about a guy and his dog. Made me cry.
“World War Z: oral History of the Zombie Wars” – Absolutely amazing book!
“Roots” by Alex Haley – Everyone should read.
“Eisenhorn” – Sci fi fans will love
Most all the vampire stuff by Anne Rice – you just have to like that stuff.
***And the best book by far…”Zeroville” by Steve Erickson. This book actually made me mad when I finished. If you read it you will understand. Tough read, but amazing stuff. This guy has other books I’ve read here but his is the best!

Most of the books (the odd ones at least) were referred to me by a guy here named Jeff Anderson. An odd character, but we both like the same books. (Guess that makes me odd.) Anyway, I hope that you will try to read some of the books I have mentioned. I hate to sound like some old person, but reading is really good for your mind!

I guess that’s going to wrap things up for this week. I hope you are enjoying a glimpse into my life at camp. If you have any questions or just want to say hey, please comment on my blog or feel free to write me. I will write back! Take Care!

Joshua W Jones

Topics for next time: Strange things Jeff says, the food here, visits, weekend movies, job update, my continued weight loss and card games.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Where to start...

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Ok, most people reading this know about my situation and how I ended up at Talladega FPC, but if you don't know the story, check out my wife's blog about dropping me off at camp. We both try to be very light-hearted about the whole thing (mainly b/c we have stressed over it for so long) and there's nothing more to do but move on with it. Yes, I committed a "white-collar" crime. Yes, I know it was wrong. And yes, I deserved to be punished. Now, I wasn't thrilled with my punishment, but I accepted it and I'm dealing with it.

So, why am I doing a blog? And how? Well, I really wanted a way to let everyone know what all is going on with me without writing a million letters, and plus it's a good way to vent. I'm writing this in the chapel at the camp (quietist place here) and going to mail it to Amanda (Hi!) to type online for me. Hopefully, she won't leave anything I write out (I'm not!). My blog will only be updated once a week, mostly b/c much doesn't change here. I look forward to your comments b/c Amanda will be sending me a copy of how my blog looks. I'll also supply my address if any of you feel like dropping me more than just a few lines.

I'm going to start at the beginning b/c that's the best place to start. I won't be holding anything back about what I went through, am going through, and how things are done. It's really not as bad as I thought it would be, but it ain't no picnic either.

July 18, 2007 is when I came to Talladega FPC. Amanda dropped me off and I had held myself together pretty well until she had to leave. Knowing that was the last moment that I would get to hold my wife and best friend the way I wanted to hurt worse than anything. Amanda had held up well until that point also. I hope I never feel that bad again! So, I get taken back to R & D, which is processing for incoming and outgoing inmates, and this is where you realize that this is prison. I'm told to strip naked and stand with my arms away from my side to be searched, then told to squat and cough. I'm thinking, "Way to go Josh, you've just been demoralized!" Seriously, I realized that for the next year I could be strip searched at any time. Not really something you think about on the street <--- (Yes, you will notice that I use certain "prison terms" as I describe things. Term # 1: Street means "outside world"!) Well, then I'm told to find some clothes on the shelf behind me and dress. I'm a big guy so it took some searching. Finally dressed, I have my picture taken for my ID, asked some basic medical questions (physical & mental) then sent to the camp. I had no idea of what to expect. We all hear these horror stories about prison but don't know what to really expect. When you are new off of the street, everyone can tell and they are actually helpful. I was given the basic rules:

Rule #1: You don't talk about Federal Prison Camp.
Rule #2: You don't talk about Federal Prison Camp.
Rule #3: Two guys per fight.
Rule #4: One fight at a time.
Rule #5: No shirt, no shoes in a fight.
Rule #6: Fights go on as long as they have to.
Rule #7: If it's your first time at FPC you have to fight!

Just kidding!! Truth be told, everyone here is pretty nice. Now I'm at a camp, the lowest security prison you can be at. No killers, or rapists, or C-mos (AJ here...I have no idea what that is?!). Just "white-collar" guys and guys that were dealing drugs or got caught with drugs in the wrong place at the wrong type scenarios. So the people were nice. I mean, guys were giving me extra shorts and shoes they had until I was able to buy some clothes to wear besides my uniform. They filled me in on what the camp was like and how people are. People always worry about homosexuals in prison, and yes there are a few here, but they don't bother anyone. It's not like Shawshank Redemption or anything. When I finally got my cube assignment is when I started to get to know some people. I still talk to the guys I first met here b/c of how helpful they were. I settled in on my bunk and wrote my wife. That's when I broke down. I hated myself for getting into this situation and all I wanted was to talk to my wife. No one said anything to me; they understood what I was going through and gave me my space. I went to sleep early that night hoping it would all just be a dream. It wasn't. Things have gotten much better emotionally since that first day. I've adjusted. I've moved into 2 different cubes since then, but probably won't move again until I go home. I have a job as a dorm orderly (I mop floors) but I am waiting for a job change. I'll let you know when that happens. I do a lot of reading in my free time (which I have a lot of). I've read around 100 books or more since I got here. Crazy! You have to find a way to pass the time here or you'll go insane.

I guess I should tell you a little more about the camp. Well, it is located next to a Medium Security Prison (guys with 25-30 years or more), but we never see anyone from over there. There are about 300 guys at the camp in 4 dorms (T, V, X & Y). I live in V-Dorm which is honestly the better of the four. We have a small TV pavillion, chapel, education building and rec yard. The rec yard has a weight pavillion, basketball courts, softball field and track. I've spent a lot of time on the track and working out (lost 60 lbs. so far and still counting (AJ - I'm very proud of you baby!!)). Walking or running on the track really helps you lose yourself in thoughts and kinda forget about things. The dorms have two and three man cubes; I live in a three man cube, but there is only two of us in there. We have a laundry room next to the bathrooms. We have two urinals & four toilets, six sinks and six shower stalls (there are curtains in there). Standing rule in the shower is only 3 people at a time in there. Showers 1, 4 & 6 are all that can be used. No getting too close back there and no one breaks that rule...it's just understood! We also have a tv room in the dorms with 4 TV's; you have to watch them using your radio and headphones for sound. (I'll come back to the tv room. Interesting prison politics here.) We have a telephone room located in the main building with 8 phones for 300 guys to use. A barber shop; guys here get their hair cut more often and changed than some women I know (not more than my wife though - AJ - I'm letting this slide b/c it's true) :) Then there is commisary, or the store. We can shop for food items, stamps, hygeine and rec clothes. Crap there is expensive. $50 bucks for a sweatshirt and sweatpants!! But hey, it's the government. You are only allowed to spend $290 a month at the store. I barely spend a hundred. The dining hall is small...and segregated. Now if you know me at all, you know I'm not racist. I just don't understand that mentality. 98% of the guys here (black and white) are racist. White guys, mexicans sit on one side and black guys sit on the other. That's the only place you see how racist it is, but people act it very openly. I've got guys that are black that I'm good friends with here and we just make fun of eveyrone. I'm like the only white guy that's not racist. People here are stupid!

On the topic of stupid people, let's go back to the TV room. Here, you must ask where you can sit your chair b/c people have their spot. You only get by the wall if someone died or went home. I have seen major arguments about chair positions. Football season was the only time I have really spent in the tv room. I'm very glad that this was my only season to have to watch here. I didn't think Auburn fans (AJ - I can't believe I'm talking about my fellow Auburn fans!) could be so bad. I mean, they all have a complex about being second fiddle in the state. And I don't care that they've won six in a row. When that school impacts college football like Alabama has then I'll pay attention to you! Anyway, Auburn fans and just Alabama haters have no clue about football here. A three yard gain on the first down gets cheered like a touchdown. This just proves my point that they don't know how to act when they win b/c they don't really expect to win.

Ok, that's enough there. I could keep going about that but I'm sure some of you (Aubies) will never read my blog again and the majority of comments I get will be about that one paragraph in what is currently 5 pages worth of writing. HAHAHA. I love hitting a nerve with the barners (AJ - and he thinks I'm going to keep typing this for him with that kind of talk!).

Friday, Saturday and Sunday are the best days of the week. One b/c that's when you get visits. Second b/c you can do what you want, no work callout. During the week lights come on at 5:30 a.m. Yes, 5:30! You have until 7:30 to be up, dressed in uniform, bed made and at work. Lights are out at 10:30 every night, but you can watch TV till midnight. On Saturday and Sunday you can sleep till whenever. I have visits so I'm up by 7:30 and waiting for Amanda at 8. Visits are great and bad. Great b/c I love seeing my wife (aw...), it has really made my time here possible. I couldn't make it if I didn't get to see her. Visits are bad b/c they have to end and it's just another reminder of where I am and how bad I messed up. Friday night visits are 5 p.m. - 9 p.m., Saturday & Sunday 8 a.m. - 3:30 p.m. We play a lot of cards at visit. Spades, or Phase 10...sometimes Rummy. Amanda and I are pretty evenly matched at the moment.

I guess I should start winding this down. I've really enjoyed writing today and I hope you enjoy reading it online when Amanda posts it. My plan is to write once a week and send it to Amanda so she can type it. Once a week will hopefully give me enough material to have some decent posts, and it's the easiest way for me to do it without usins a million stamps a month. I really hope you enjoy this glimpse into what I'm going through. I'll have more stories next time. And if you have any questions, just post them in a comment b/c Amanda is going to send them to me so I can know what you all think. Be honest and ask anything you want to know about. If you would like to write me, here's my address:

Joshua Wilton Jones, 26172-001
FCI Talladega
Satellite Camp
PO Box 2000
Talladega, AL 35160

***Note: It must be filled out just like this with a return address***

I love mail-call! Until next time, take care and God bless you!Joshua W. JonesTopics for next time: Phrases I have learned, what people call me, Skeeter, Thing you don't say to someone, Thing you don't discuss (religion and politics), how George Lucas, The Skywalker family and Harry Potter have helped me, and some strange but highly interesting and entertaining books I've read and recommend.

Posted by Josh at 8:56 PM

5 comments:
Anonymous said...
I love you!! - Amanda :o)
February 12, 2008 10:23 PM
Chad said...
Awesome. Glad to see you in blogland. Just want you to know that Teale and I lift you and Amanda up in our prayers every night. You both are very good friends and we can't wait to have you home so you can come up for dinner sometime. On a side note, how about that recruiting class?
February 13, 2008 7:08 AM
Teale said...
Glad you are blogging now! We think about you a lot and can't wait until you can join us back on the *street*. Oh and for your little Auburn comments... sombody call the WAAAA-mbulance. :)
February 13, 2008 7:22 AM
Leah said...
Josh - good to hear from you! I love that you're giving us a first-hand account of your time. I'm sorry you're there, but you seem to have the right attitude. Congrats on the weight loss, too! Love ya!
February 13, 2008 4:00 PM
Belinda said...
Glad to know you are out in the blog world. I believe that it will help you. I'm a friend of Chad and Teale and have gotten to know Amanda thru their blog. I've been praying for ya'll daily.
February 14, 2008 5:53 AM
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