Well, it's another week...

gone by for me and just a little bit closer to going home. I hope everyone had a more eventful week than I did; put simply, nothing ever happens here. I’m writing this new entry to the blog before I find out if anyone enjoyed or even read the first entry. I hope you have read it and plan to continue reading and commenting. If you had any questions that you posted or are sending me, I will try to answer them on the next blog entry, Ok? Okay! Now, if I remember correctly I said I would be talking about phrases I’ve learned, things not to say, Skeeter, George Lucas & Harry Potter, and interesting books I recommend. So, let’s get down to the nitty gritty.

“Pop a clutch!” That is a phrase that is commonly used here at FPC when you want someone to go away; also, “Kick rocks!” Now I had heard the second phrase before I came here, but the first really stuck out when I heard someone say it. I’ve not been told to “pop a clutch”, yet…but I’m sure someone will tell me one day. You all know how I can be! Here’s a short list of some other phrases and words with their meanings:

Cellie: A person you share your cube (living space) with (AJ – I miss my “cellie!”)
Bunkie: Some people sleep on bunk beds. The other person in your bunk is your Bunkie.
Get money: To work out hard at the weight pile or on the track (AJ – I don’t get it?!)
Cop-out: A form to fill out when you have a question to Camp Administration.

Anyway, that is just a few of the phrases that get used on a daily basis here.

Now, there are several things that one should never say to someone else while in Federal prison. Some of them I can not put online b/c this is a family oriented blog, but I’ll try to convey a few as best I can. First, don’t call someone a punk. I didn’t get this one b/c I would call a friend a punk when joking around. But here “punk” means gay. And guys are very touchy about their sexuality. You can’t call someone a female dog or a son of a female dog. Also out are M-F, telling someone to “F” themselves (AJ – I don’t think you’re supposed to say these things to anyone, whether in prison or out, but I guess it would be more dangerous to say them there!) Basically, you don’t say anything derogatory to someone else. All of this was easy for me. No problem. I just don’t understand how punk gets turned into someone being gay?! Oh well.

I’m sure you are all wondering, “What is Skeeter?” Well, Skeeter is a nickname of an inmate here. Nicknames are pretty much required in prison; everyone has one in some shape or form. My buddy Skeeter, whose name is actually James Stephen Alexander II, is one of the only intelligent people here that I can talk with, plus he’s a huge Star Wars fan. So much of a fan that when I get a book or Amanda sends a Star Wars magazine, she tells me to share it with Skeeter (AJ – I am so happy that Josh has someone there to talk to…I’ve met Skeeter and he seems extremely nice!) He’s a good guy that just was in the wrong situation. He’s helped me with getting into the right workout routine and we always have something to discuss pertaining to the Star Wars universe. Skeeter asked me to inform he ladies that he is single (AJ – when I first read this, I was thinking, will someone really think about dating someone in prison, or that’s been in prison, then I realized, I’m married to a felon! I guess in some way that still hasn’t clicked with me!) I don’t know what good that will do considering most (if not all) of the women reading this are married, but I couldn’t crush his dreams.

So, nicknames…we all have them and here are a few examples:

Big Shot, Birmingham, Skid Row, J-Rub, Flat Rock, Mug, KoKomo, Emmy,
Preacher (we have 6 guys called that here), Bones, Bear, Gotti, C-Murder, “C”, Ant, Elmo, C-Dub, Bass, Dirty, Kiddie Bear

That’s some of the basic ones. Also, guys are called by their last names. I’m sure you’re wondering if I have a nickname. I do. Mostly, I’m called Josh or JJ, but some guys call me Foamy. I will explain this at another time. It’s dumb, but guys say it fits.

If you don’t know me, you’re probably asking how George Lucas, the Skywalker family, and Harry Potter have helped me since I’ve been here. Well I’m a huge Star Wars fan and so I thank George Lucas for his contribution to cinema. But the Skywalker family has really helped. For those that live under a rock or just don’t care…there is a whole line of Star Wars novels that follow the adventures of the Skywalker and Solo families after the move. I made a list of 46 books (that take place after the movies) that I wanted to read while here. Mrs. Jackie Ellison (a wonderful lady that worked with my mom @ SCBOE) offered to send me all the books over the year that I’m here (Thank you!) I’ve read around 25-27 of them so far. They have really helped to pass the time. And, Harry Potter. Yes, I’m a big kid, I know (AJ – We all know baby…that’s one of the reasons we love you!) For those of you that have not read the Harry Potter Books, you are missing out. I’ve read all the books at least twice and each time is like being a kid again. The books really let you imagination go and allow you to become connected with the characters; making the reading experience that much better. The 5th HP movie came out the Friday before I self-surrendered and I saw it 3 or 4 times. The following Friday (my first Friday @ camp) the 7th and final book came out. I faithfully wanted for my copy to arrive (and yes there are other HP fans here at camp). Reading the book was like forgetting about this place. I was totally immersed in what was happening in the book! You all are probably calling me a dorm, and that’s ok. These are books & movies that I enjoy and for a brief time let me feel like a kid again and forget all about my worries. Bet you wish you had something like that, huh?

So, like I said in my last blog…I’ve read just over 100 books since being here (AJ – I hope that if we are blessed with children someday, that they like to read as much as their daddy does – momma likes magazines…that’s about it!) Some good books, some great books, and some really bad books. The books I’m going to list are some I recommend to read, you might not enjoy all the ones that I did but you’re bound to read one that you like.

Star Wars Books – If you’re not a fan don’t bother, you wouldn’t get it.
Harry Potter Series – Everyone should read these.
“Born Standing Up” by Steve Martin – His autobiography. Really good.
“Fire & Ice Series” by George R.R. Martin – If you didn’t like Lord of the Rings, you won’t like this. 5 books. Only read 4 b/c Mr. Martin has not published the 5th book.
“Wicked” – Book the Broadway play was based on. Very social & political stuff. Weird to read Glinda the Good Witch cursing (Thanks Teale)
“Earagon” & “Eldest” by Chris Paolini – If you don’t like fantasy, don’t bother.
“Bad Monkeys”; “Sewer, Gas & Electric”; “Fool on the Hill”; “Set this House in Order” all by Matt Ruff – All are very strange books and tough reads, but they are brilliant.
“Fight Club” – Great guy book. Movie is just as good.
“Marley & Me” – Wonderful book about a guy and his dog. Made me cry.
“World War Z: oral History of the Zombie Wars” – Absolutely amazing book!
“Roots” by Alex Haley – Everyone should read.
“Eisenhorn” – Sci fi fans will love
Most all the vampire stuff by Anne Rice – you just have to like that stuff.
***And the best book by far…”Zeroville” by Steve Erickson. This book actually made me mad when I finished. If you read it you will understand. Tough read, but amazing stuff. This guy has other books I’ve read here but his is the best!

Most of the books (the odd ones at least) were referred to me by a guy here named Jeff Anderson. An odd character, but we both like the same books. (Guess that makes me odd.) Anyway, I hope that you will try to read some of the books I have mentioned. I hate to sound like some old person, but reading is really good for your mind!

I guess that’s going to wrap things up for this week. I hope you are enjoying a glimpse into my life at camp. If you have any questions or just want to say hey, please comment on my blog or feel free to write me. I will write back! Take Care!

Joshua W Jones

Topics for next time: Strange things Jeff says, the food here, visits, weekend movies, job update, my continued weight loss and card games.